“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.“

Psalm 46:1-3

I got knocked over by a horse once. I won’t go into which one or when for fear of judgment, but I will say there were witnesses. 

Let me just tell you, getting hit by 1000 lbs worth of force is a bit terrifying. This particular incident involved an innocent spook, with a bizarre twist. In all honesty, the crop duster should bear the brunt of the blame. Oh sure, we knew he was around, but when we missed the silent dive and he suddenly appeared roaring out of the corn at a high rate of speed, it was enough to send that flight animal flying at a high rate of speed. 

I happened to be standing nearby in the path of that horse’s flight, when suddenly, BAM, that huge animal hit me and sent me hurling toward the dirt like a sack of feed. I remember in the short seconds it took for me to hit the ground trying to gain control of my body, but having absolutely no authority. In order to avoid a hood to the head, I knew I needed to get off the ground ASAP, but it was like as soon as I tried, I went down again. I think it knocked into me a second time (at least according to witnesses), but even so, my entire focus was just to get off the ground. I knew a trampling wasn’t in my best interest.

While I can say thankfully that I emerged from that incident relatively unscathed, I do have to admit that it did knock the wind out of me. 

Having the wind knocked out of you is a fairly unpleasant experience. You’re going along minding your own business when suddenly, BAM, you find yourself reeling and struggling to catch your breath. 

Looking back on this last year, I have to admit, there are times when it felt A LOT like me getting hit by that horse. 

Having absolutely no authority.

My entire focus: just get up off the ground. 

The wind knocked out of me. 

Not that long ago, our whole world was sent reeling. 

All of us, smacked with the weight of a thousand fears. We were all knocked off our game. 

Change was the new normal. 

Our bodies screaming under the load. 

Chronic flight. Fleeting fight. Frozen fast.  

Escape. There’s so many forms of it these days: the flix, the tube, the tocks, the grams, the news, the tunes, the pods…the best of the not really real. 

Of course we’re all real, but these things–they’re all just a glimpse of the whole, meant to make us feel whole when really we’re all trying to gather the pieces. 

Fear is a funny thing. It’s a good and necessary thing, and a problem if you don’t have a healthy amount. But it’s also a problem if you have too much. 

We have a Dexter bull. And a Katahdin ram. And a Nigerian Dwarf buck. And even a Brahma rooster. All of our guys are pretty docile–you can walk in and feed them at the bunk and not worry too much about them taking you out. Which they all could. But we have a healthy fear of them which means we give them their space. We don’t walk up to them and give ‘em a good shove and say, “hey, do you want to wrestle?” 

On the other hand, having an unfounded fear is also not going to serve us well. I, for example, am pretty much terrified of the rooster, basically because I’ve heard bad things about roosters. The Chicken Tender, however, cuddles the rooster in his lap everyday, proving that the rooster is actually of little threat (although in my defense, he did come running across the pen to peck me on the boot once). But because I’ve built roosters up in my mind as terrifying and evil, I think this surely must be true. And I experience it as true, even though it’s not.

Back to the horse. 

Fear. The same thing that drove that horse is the same thing that’ll drive you to the ground.

If I’ve learned anything this year, it’s this one simple truth: 

We were not meant to live in fear. Our bodies were not meant to carry it. Our souls were not meant to steep in it. 

It will keep you behind bars. It’s darkness that will swallow your light. 

But here’s another truth:

That fear might have knocked you down, but it doesn’t have to trample you. 

You might have had the wind knocked out of you, but you will catch your breath. 

If you can relate, stay tuned. I am in no way an expert fear overcomer, but I am an expert fear experiencer. The struggle is real and sometimes can feel relentless.

So stop back, and I’ll share some of my favorite fear fighting strategies–the ones that help me catch my breath and keep me off the ground.

Until then,

BLESSED & BELTED